The Empty Man

I awoke in a cold sweat. I suppose I should have been concerned, but I wasn’t. At this point, waking up in a cold sweat from the nightmares of my failures was normal. I’d be more concerned if I had a normal dream.  It had been a month since I left the village - I had spent it training and moving towards the capital.  I had been living rough for most of it, not out of necessity (but out of choice) - living in the wilderness and scrounging for what I could find was what I deserved. Yatsumi had been right, in saying that death followed me everywhere. The further I stayed away from polite society, the less chance there would be of another town being put to death. It was still dark out, but I still broke down my lodgings and continued my pilgrimage to the capital.  

 My stomach growled with hunger, and I realized that I hadn’t really eaten much in the days since I strangled Sadakuno.  The darkest parts of me felt good as I watched the light leave his eyes. Now that I’m a bit removed from what I did, I only feel disgusted with my actions.  I couldn’t help myself, and I found myself weeping over a man that had betrayed me. I had to find a way to clear my head, because I knew I would be useless to Mizu like this.  I kept moving forward, so I hoped that by the time I reached the capitol - I would be what Mizu needed. As I thought of the concept, I wondered exactly what she would need? Would she need a father, warrior or a master? Could I be anything, other than a death sentence? Maybe the best way to help Mizu would be to stay away.    

No, what am I saying? I’m doing this for Mizu, right? I couldn’t remember anymore, as though someone or something was manipulating my mind somehow. I needed to clear my head, so I did what I always did - I found a lake and started fishing.  For me, fishing was the closest thing in my life to peace. I drifted away to halcyon summers when it was just my mother and sister, back when life made sense.  Time drifted away and before long, the sun was high in the sky and I enjoyed the five fish I had caught.  I walked back to my camp and began to prepare my lunch.  As I prepared the fish, I heard an old yet familiar sound - it was the sound of the old man’s bokken striking a tree. I remembered it well, as it was the signal that it was time to train. I still remember my protests … 

“But why can’t we rest a little while longer?” 

“Nope, this is the life you chose. The path of a master is a long one, and I have much to teach you Chisana Ryoshi.” 

Little Fisherman was always what he called me in those days. Then, we’d spend the next six hours training - three hours of hand to hand and the other three hours was spent on swordsmanship.  Those good happy memories knocked the chill off my soul as I ate my fish.  It was calming to just listen to the forest and admire its beauty, since I had been so lost in my thoughts.  Then, I smelled something that reminded me of lilacs – which immediately brought tears to my eyes. Those tears were not joyful, for the lilacs reminded me of a time where I ruined lives.   

“Excuse me fellow traveler, might I share your fire?”  

I hadn’t been expecting the voice, as it was odd for travelers to be out this far. I deliberately chose this route because I knew I’d be alone here.   

“Sir?”  

“I’m sorry, of course you can share my fire.”   

When she sat down, I was taken aback by her beauty.  She seemed otherworldly in her appearance, and maybe it was a trick of the light but her eyes seemed to glow.  I couldn’t help but stare at her. It was as if I’d seen her before, but that didn’t make sense.  I couldn’t keep my curiosity contained anymore. I just had to know -  

“I’m sorry, have you ever been to the capital? I have the oddest feeling that we’ve met before.”  

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’ve never been to the capital.”  

“Hm.” Her admission should have calmed me, but instead it did the opposite. I was deeply apprehensive of this woman. 

I looked around my campsite trying to find an excuse to get away from her to clear my head and think, but I was drawing a blank. My entire mind seemed clouded. I suddenly stood up and stumbled into the forest. I couldn’t think straight, but some primal part of me knew I had to get out of there.  I wandered the forest, unsure about where exactly I was going, but I knew with absolute certainty that I couldn’t stay at my camp for that night. Before long, I found myself in an old cemetery. It was peaceful here (contrary to popular belief most cemeteries were teeming with spirits). There are exceptions, but most spirits here have accepted their fate and want to be left alone in their mourning.  Tonight though, there was a different presence that I was less than thrilled to see -  

“What is it, Muto? I don’t have time for your nonsense.” 

“Aw, come on Aki! Is that any way to greet an old friend?” 

“We aren’t friends. What do you want?”  

“Your new travel companion isn’t what she seems. Be wary.” 

“I figured that much without you. Just being near her makes my skin crawl.”   

“Ah, Ah, Ah. Your contract doesn’t account for critical thinking skills, you exist to kill. All you are is a sword hand for those infinitely your better.”  

“They can’t be that much better if they have wastrels like you in their employ.”  

I saw a flash of annoyance cross Muto’s face, but it was brief as it quickly changed into a sadistic smirk. A thousand agonies tore through my body as the sound of Muto’s manic cackling put me in immediate pain.  Almost a thousand years ago (give or take), he attached himself to the ass of a much darker entity and become more powerful than he had any right to be.  If he hadn’t, I would have laid him low as soon as I met him.  It was in this moment that I decided I’d had enough. I endured his tantrum for a while longer, then waited for him to relent. I didn’t attack him with my sword, so I grabbed him by the sides of the head and squeezed. Soon, the new sound of Muto’s anguished struggling filled the night. I watched with a mad glee as his eyes popped out of his skull.  He went through the full gamut of emotions – he had threatened, begged, and gurgled. After savoring his agony for as long as I could, I snapped his neck and left his body where it dropped. It was all he deserved.  

I made my way back to the camp. I had the pieces of what I needed, but the portrait was still incomplete. All that I knew was that this woman that had come to my camp wasn’t to be trusted.  I made it back and saw that she was made herself at home. I saw her splayed out on my sleeping mat, naked. Again, it dawned on me just how long it had been since I felt the touch of a woman. However, I knew something wasn’t right. Instead of getting into my tent, I reclined against a nearby tree and decided to sleep there.   

“Mmm, yes Akinori. I’ve wanted this for so long. Ever since you first came to the school.” 

“NOOOO!”  

The scream woke me from what had been a fitful sleep and I was in an unfamiliar place. Or at first, it had seemed unfamiliar. I was in a dormitory of some sort.  The beds were tiny, and they surrounded me as I slept on the floor in the center of them (as though they were watching me).  As I felt a faint presence, I stood up from where I had been and the pain of sleeping against a tree shot through my body as if I was struck by lightning.  

“I should have woken her up and got her out of my tent.”, I mused to myself. 

I extricated myself from the beds and walked out of the dormitories. As s soon as I entered the courtyard, the memories came flooding to me.  As jarring as it was, I saw my sixteen-year-old self with the old man:  

“Akinori, I have business.  The Kensei here is an old friend. You will stay here and continue your studies with him until I return. Is that clear?”  

“Yes, Master Junichiro.” 

I remembered this day well, as I told the old man that I would take my training seriously. In my then cockiness and sureness of self, I didn’t think I needed any more training. My plan was to treat Master Junichiro’s absence as a vacation of sorts. As soon as Junichiro left, I started walking around like I owned the place- much like I did then. When I walked into the dining hall, I was assailed by past memories – as I heard the sound of dozens of children laughing and playing while waiting for breakfast.  I then looked up to the elevated platform where the Kensei and other masters would sit. I remember seeing a beautiful girl, and knew at first sight that I’d spend my “vacation” with her. I sauntered up to the elevated area, and sat next to her and started flirting - 

“Hi, I’m Akinori. Who might you be?”  

“Hello Master Akinori, my name is Yoni. What brings you to my father’s school?”  

“Training. But I don’t know my way around the school, maybe you could give me a tour?” 

“Good morning, Yoni. And you, you’re new - who might you be?”  

“I’m Akinori. I’d ask who you are, but I don’t care. I was already talking with Yoni.”  

“Tsuramatsu. I didn’t see you walk in, how are you?”, Yoni asked trying to mediate what was already growing into a tense situation.  

“I’d be better. But this gutter trash is in my seat. Get down with the students where you belong, Akinori”,  Tsuramatsu spat.  

“Since I’m such trash, why don’t you make me move Tsuramatsu?”  

I remembered being ready to fight Tsuramatsu, right then and there. Just thinking about it had me clenching my fists. I wanted to fight him and embarrass him in front of his peers, but Yoni had tried to stop us to no avail. It finally took the Kensei stepping in to get us to calm down. As the memory came to a close, everything faded away and I was back in the empty dining hall. I still had no idea why I was at this school or how I got here.  All I could do now was continue exploring and hope that this would make sense eventually.  As I moved about the grounds, a deep sadness began to fill me. Where there were once cherry blossoms in full bloom, now only bore gnarled husks of trees. There had been such life here when I was a boy. Now - all I could feel was pain, death and suffering. Something terrible had happened here, and I wanted to get out before I uncovered the sad truth.  I found the front gate and bolted for it, but the handle didn’t budge (which didn’t make sense because there was never a lock on the gate).  Something didn’t add up here, but I could feel it - magic was keeping these gates closed.  As the mystery continued, I went to the training hall and the same uneasiness had followed me there. Despite my apprehension, I knew that the truth would set me free – s I had to find it.  

I continued around the grounds and found the training dojo; it was a small building nestled in the nearby woods.  It had been ran by a bear of a man named Morimasa. He was nearly seven feet tall and seemed strong enough to snap a tree in half with his bare hands (if he so wished). However, he might have been the gentlest man I had ever known. Most of the students (no matter how old) called him “Ojisan” or grandfather - he was always there to offer his advice on what had ailed our young minds. In truth, the only man I held in higher regard than Lord Morimasa was Junichiro.  I remember coming to him after receiving some upsetting news --  

“Akinori, things are more complicated than I initially thought. I’m not sure how long I’ll be away.  Stay at the school for the time being. “  

I read and reread the correspondence, somehow hoping that things would change if I kept at it. Nothing had changed and I instead gradually grew more frustrated. This wasn’t the plan, so now I’m stuck here. I angrily threw the letter into the fireplace and stormed out of the dormitories. I wanted to scream, but I heard the students in the dining hall and didn’t want to be bothered (especially with Tsuramatsu). Instead, I headed for the training dojo. I’d practice with my bokken until I was too exhausted to feel angry.  As I walked, it was beautiful out - so I found it difficult to stay as angry with Junichiro for abandoning me here.  Up ahead, I noticed Yoni pacing back and forth nervously. There was clearly something amiss here - 

“Good morning, Yoni. How are you? Did you sleep well?” 

“Uhm, good morning Lord Akinori. I wish I could say I was well, but that would be insincere. Do you have a moment to talk?”  

“For you? Of course, I do.” 

Together we walked to her garden, it was off limits to students. She bought me here because she knew we wouldn’t be disturbed.  

“It’s beautiful here, did you grow all of these yourself?”  

“Yes I did. When my mother was alive, we used to garden together. Now, I do it as a way to carry on her spirit. Each flower and plant here are significant to me in some way. But, that’s not why I brought you here.” 

“What seems to be the trouble?”  

“It’s Tsuramatsu. He’s been acting strangely lately. At first, I thought that it was because of you. He’s clearly jealous of our relationship. But, I think there’s something darker.”  

“What do you mean our relationship?”  

“I’m not blind, Akinori. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me.  Trust me, I’ve been looking at you the same way.  Besides, Tsuramatsu hasn’t ever made his intentions clear. He thinks he’s somehow entitled to me.  But again, I’m going off on a tangent. “  

“I’m listening.”  

“Tsuramatsu is dabbling in something dark. I don’t know what it is or when he plans on it, but I fear the school is in grave danger.”  

“What makes you say that?”  

“He’s been a lot quicker to anger in recent months. Just earlier this week, I saw him break a child’s wrist for answering him back.  I want to talk to my father, but I need more proof.  I know Tsuramatsu leaves at night. Will you help me follow him?”  

“Of course. The last thing I want is for you to be out in the woods alone at night.”  

“You’re sweet. Also, before I forget, it’s imperative that Tsuramatsu remains unaware of our plans. So, until we meet up tonight, act normally as though we never had this conversation. Can you do that?”  

“Yes, I promise…. 

Before I could say anything else, she leaned in and kissed me.  

“Sealed with a kiss. Now go, the rest of the students will be along soon. It may complicate things if we’re seen together. Here takes this path out. “  

I continued the familiar route to the dojo. The path was still familiar, but it was overgrown and in deep disrepair from years of neglect.  It pained me to see it this way, but that was nothing compared to when I actually laid eyes on the building.  It looked as though a hurricane had torn through it.  It hadn’t been that long, notafor the building to have been wrecked this way. No, something else had happened here And I needed to figure out what.  As I explored the space, I saw the telltale signs of battle.  As this had been a place of peace and enlightenment, who would come here to fight Lord Morimasa of all people?  I continued my search for something, anything that would lead me to answers. As I walked, I swore I heard the sound of bokken and of children training - but I knew that I was alone in this crypt of a dojo.  I found a particularly large hole in the roof and felt a lurch in my stomach as I spotted a skeleton. It didn’t take much deduction to figure out who it was. Somebody had killed Lord Morimasa and left his body out in the open to rot. At first, I was furious at the disrespect (but I did my best to reign in my emotions). I gathered up his bones and decided to give Morimasa the proper respect he deserved. There was a small plateau overlooking the school grounds where Morimasa would often come to meditate. It was there I had chosen to lay Morimasa to rest with the respect and dignity he had deserved. My hands had moved through the ground with ease, as if I was supposed to find and bury him here.  As I finished laying the bones to rest, I felt a familiar presence.  To my surprise, I turned to see Morimasa sitting on a rock -  

“Is that you, Akinori? I never thought I’d see you here again. The years haven’t been kind, have they? What happened to you, my boy?” 

“Lord Morimasa, it’s good to see you. It’s good to see a friendly face - friends have been few and far between these last few years.”  

“What’s this Lord nonsense? I’m no one’s lord, I’m just Morimasa. What do you mean friends have been hard to come by? From what I remember, you were quite the amiable boy. In the months when you were here, the children really took a liking to you (as did my daughter). I even thought you’d make a fine instructor in my stead. “  

“Everybody that gets close to me dies. So, I try to keep people from getting too close.”  

“That’s no way to live my boy.”  

“Recently, I thought I’d found a measure of peace. It was a tiny village where the people kept to themselves.  I even found a pupil of my own, Mizu. Things were good for a few months. Then, the War Dogs came.”  

I could see Morimasa bristle at the name, as his hand instinctually covered a nasty scar on his forearm where his own War Dog tattoo was once displayed. As he chose a new path, he decided and carved it off.  

“The War Dogs? I thought such barbaric means died with the last emperor. I thought myself, Junichiro and the others were the last.”  

“Unfortunately, no. The empress has employed an all new generation of Dogs. And from what I’ve seen, this time they’re far darker than swordsmen.  There’s something rotten in the capital, Morimasa. They’ve taken Mizu there and I have to stop it somehow.”  

“It’s eerie how much you sound like Junichiro.  You truly are going more as a student, more than you could ever be one of mine. By that logic, then I suppose it’s good you’re here – so you can correct one of my worst mistakes. I think it’s time I tell you how the school was destroyed.” 

Before I could protest, I found myself pulled into Morimasa’s memories.   We sat in his chambers and watched as the memory tearfully wrote a letter --  

“This was the day after I had banished you from the school. You and Yoni had told me of Tsuramatsu’s transgressions, but I didn’t want to believe what was right in front of my face. You see, there was always a darkness about Tsuramatsu.  It was always there, but I thought I could help him through it. I was wrong.”  

“What do you mean he always had darkness about him?”  

“For that, we’ll need to find another memory.”  

Before I could blink, we had teleported again. Now, we stood in the remains of a village. We were surrounded by corpses and the only sounds that could be heard were flies enjoying their feast - and the eerie cries of a baby.   

“Where are we now, Morimasa? I don’t recognize this place.”  

“The name of this place has been lost to time. What’s important is the baby.”  

“Is it….”  

“Yes, it’s Tsuramatsu.  I and the other War Dogs had put this town to the sword, but I was tired (just like Junichiro was).  Yet where he had grand ambitions of overthrowing the emperor in order to build something new, I just wanted to stop fighting. Every time I saw myself, I only saw a monster and I was disgusted. Here in this child, I saw a way out of darkness - so I took him and disappeared.”  

“What was it like raising a son?” 

“The first five years were easy - my father was a retch who never saw a problem that couldn’t be solved with a beating. So effective was his parenting, that he was the first man I killed (but I used his example and did the opposite). I found a wife, had my daughter and enjoyed the brief goodness. That all changed when Tsuramatsu turned six.   We had a dog who helped me hunt and guarded our family home. One day, I found it slaughtered – and oddly found some of Tsuramatsu’s clothes covered in blood. “ 

“What did you do?”  

“I was a sentimental fool. I buried the dog and I burned the clothes. I didn’t even tell my wife what he’d done. He kept murdering animals and I kept hiding it.  I knew that this would only get worse if I didn’t find a way to slake his growing bloodlust. So, I built the school – thinking that training him would pacify his urges to kill. Instead, it made Tsuramatsu’s killing even more efficient.” 

“How did you wife feel about all of this? What about Yoni?”  

“My wife never got a chance to find out, as sickness took her a few years into our marriage. That was another reason why Tsuramatsu was able to operate with impunity - I became consumed with caring for my wife that I wasn’t there for Yoni or Tsuramatsu.  As for Yoni? Tsuramatsu would never hurt her, or at least I thought he wouldn’t. Yet, I’m getting ahead of myself.” 

We continued traveling through, Morimasa’s memories. As he began to materialize the next one, I caught a glimpse of something - something he clearly wanted hidden. I could tell just by the look on his face that it was shame or maybe disgust. Either way, I would need to tug on that thread if I was going to get more answers.  

“What was that, Morimasa? You started to remember something, but then you tried to suppress it again.” 

“It was, it was nothing.” 

“If it was nothing, why are you trying to suppress the memories? If I’m going to understand what happened to the school, there can be no lies Morimasa. They may be something you’re ashamed of, but I need to understand.” 

“So be it. I had hoped that I’d never have to come back to these memories. Despite the lives I’ve taken, this is by far the darkest thing I’ve ever created.” 

We found ourselves in a cave system. All that could be heard was the scratching of parchment. Up ahead, we saw an opening dimly lit by candlelight. Morimasa somberly began his ascent up to the opening, as I wordlessly followed him.  As we walked, occasional flashes of lighting gave me brief glimpses of the cave walls and the madness smeared across the wall.  We continued to move upward and soon enough, the scratch of parchment was joined by the frenzied mumblings of a madman. As we entered the chamber, I beheld Morimasa emaciated after not having eaten in days mindlessly talking to himself as he wrote.  I couldn’t see what he was writing, nor did I want to. Although this was a memory, the evil of his words was so permeable that I could feel it. I could fully understand why Morimasa would want to hide this, even from himself. I knew this but still I asked obvious questions -- 

“What is this place?”  

“An ocean cave a few miles from the school.  It’s flooded ninety five percent of the time, so I knew that my secrets would be safe here.  There’s also only one other entrance that only I know of. Without that entrance, one would have to swim. The rocks are particularly jagged and would kill all but the strongest of swimmers.” 

“What would you need to hide that you’d go to lengths like this?”  

“Remember how I’d told you that I had been unknowingly allowing Tsuramatsu’s pain to fester and it was gradually making him into a more efficient killer? Remember how I’d told you that he’d never hurt Yoni?”  

“My god.”  

“He swore it was a training accident, but I had seen far too many wounds. He had hurt my little girl on purpose. I wanted to kill him, but I was consumed. I had lost my wife, so I couldn’t imagine losing my daughter too. So, I reached out to anything that would listen. A lust demon was what answered, and It attached itself to Yoni’s soul like a leech.”  

“What did you do?! Why would you let something like that in?” 

“I told you. I was desperate. For the first week, everything was good. I had my daughter back and she was even happier than when her mother was alive. When I took her into town, that was when the horror started.”  

“So, knowing that a demon was attached to your daughter’s soul, you still saw fit to let it into a town. That was incredibly stupid, Morimasa. You let your love blind you to your common sense!”  

“How dare you? You don’t know what it’s like. You’ve never had a family, so you don’t understand my suffering.”  

“If love ever makes me think demonic possession is a viable option, then I’m glad I’ve never experienced it.” 

I turned away from him as I said that. I didn’t want him to see me cry, or for him to see that the darker parts of my psyche agreed with him.  If it meant seeing my mother, sister, or Junichiro safe and healthy for just one more day, I would gladly pay any price.  I really had no footing to accuse this man of any wrongdoing. Then and there, I made a decision that I would help Morimasa - as he once tried to help me.  His sins were his and his alone to bear, so I wouldn’t persecute him for them.  Instead, I took a deep breath and turned back to my master -- 

“So, what does Tsuramatsu want?  Why hasn’t he left yet?”  

“That cave we saw? There’s power there. Many of my most dangerous techniques are bound to the walls and scrolls I’ve hidden there. Tsuramatsu has been searching for the entrance for years.  Keeping the secret from him came at a heavy price.”  

“What price? What did he do, Morimasa?” 

“I banished him when I saw him trying to figure out how to enter the cave. He swore to me that he would have his vengeance. But being the fool I was, I thought it was all bluster and all talk. I was so very wrong. He came back a week later, the thing inside my daughter enjoyed the chaos he’d wrought - so it let him back into the school. He started slaughtering students until I faced him. As you can see, I failed to stop him. But maybe you can.” 

“Look at my arm. I’m afraid of what may happen if I keep using my sword. I don’t think I have much time.”  

“I think, perhaps I may have a solution for that. Excuse me for a moment.” 

Before I could protest, Morimasa was gone. I took the alone time to sit with my thoughts.  Now that I was alone again, I could admit to myself that perhaps I had learned some of Morimasa’s secrets.  When I was younger, I thought he was perfect and, in many ways, loved him as a mentor more than Junichiro.   They both taught me much about the world. Junichiro taught me to be a cold remorseless killer and to lock my emotions so far away that they’d never be a weakness for my enemies to exploit.  As I look back now, I can say his methods worked. When I came to Junichiro, I was a naïve child. As I grew and saw the world for what it really was, I became an angry teenager. Junichiro took that anger and molded it into something useful at the time being.  It was only after I came here and spent time with Morimasa, that I actually really began to live.   As quickly as the ghost of Morimasa left me, he returned --  

“I know your sword arm is cursed, but as I said - I may have a solution. Yorukami. Her blade has tasted the blood of countless innocents.  But perhaps, for this she can be redeemed.” 

“Do you really think I can use your sword and not further my curse?” 

“It is but a theory, Akinori. But if I’ve gained anything in these long years, I’ve gained faith.  I have to hope that this may work.” 

“So be it, I’ve got nothing else. Where is Yorukami?”, I asked this even though I already knew what he’d say. 

“It’s in the cave, but the tide is low so you should be able to make the swim.”  

“Of course. Nothing can ever be simple, can it? “ 

“I mean it could be easy, but your curse will progress. And you know full well what will happen should it spread too far.” 

“I suppose you make a good point, Morimasa. I suppose I should be off then.” 

Morimasa and I silently made our way to the water. I could hear my heart pounding away in my chest and I was unsure if it was fear slowing me down or anticipation of what I could find in Morimasa’s cave.  I made my way to the water’s edge and prepared myself for what was next. I stripped down and then dove into the water. I was unprepared for just how cold it was; the water felt like daggers in my flesh.  I wondered how Morimasa had made this swim repeatedly throughout his life.  Every centimeter was an agony, but I thought about Junichiro’s words - he had always taught me to always move forward. With his words in mind, I pushed through the pain and kept moving forward.  As I soon arrived in the cave, I was in too much pain trying to pull myself out of the water. My limbs felt as though they each weighed ten thousand pounds --   

“Come on boy! How do you expect to be this great warrior if you let a little thing like pain slow you down?”  

I heard Junichiro’s voice clear as day, and suddenly I was back in the halcyon days of my childhood when I couldn’t even lift a sword. However, this was before everything went wrong.  This had been the first time Junichiro had ever pushed me so hard.  Prior to this, we had trained - but this was the first time we had ever done the train that I would become accustomed to and my body had all but shut down on me.  Junichiro had walked back to our house at the time, and told me that if I wanted to eat - then I would have to walk back as well.   I was starving, but every time I even thought of standing up - a spasm of pain tore through my entire body.  I knelt there in misery for a while. Yet, I heard Junichiro’s voice again - I half expected him to yell or be angry (but I was wrong) --  

“I know it hurts. I’m sorry, perhaps I pushed you too hard. I should have taken things slower, I was wrong. You can do this, Akinori. Just focus your breathing and step forward one step at a time.” 

I did as he told me - the first step was almost indescribable. With each step, it got a little easier, and before long I was at the house. I had made it, but I collapsed from the pain. If I could do it then as a boy, I could do it now.  I grabbed the rock wall and I pulled with all the strength I had left.  Just like when I was a boy, the pain was deep and visceral - but I refused to let it defeat me.  Before long, I was out of the water and back on land. I gathered myself and got to my feet. I stood at the gaping maw of an enormous cave. The darkness I beheld was night, an impenetrable save for a faint red glow deeper inside.  I steeled myself and began to move towards the glow. As I moved closer to it, my blackened arm began to itch.  Whatever Morimasa sealed within these walls was too dark for my arm’s demonic presence to stay dormant. I moved in closer and my arm began to burn (aching to drink in the evil surrounding me). By the time I made it to the central chamber of the cave, my arm felt as though it wanted to tear itself off of my body. I had to find that damned sword and get out of here quickly.  Every step forward I took got harder, and I thought to myself that it would be easier to just fight Tsuramatsu with my own sword (consequences be damned).  

“So why don’t you? What are you afraid of, Akinori?”  

I spun around to see who had said that. I expected to see Morimasa, but I was alone. I breathed a sigh of relief and kept pushing forward --  

“Come on Akinori, you’re smarter than that. You’re not alone. You’re never alone. No matter how deeply you try and suppress me, I’ll always be here. Go ahead, use that sword to fight Tsuramatsu. Let me out.”  

“No. I can’t. I refuse.” I sounded weak, feeble. What if the voice was right? 

“Don’t question it, Akinori.  You know I’m right, you know you need me. You know that letting me out is the only way to save Mizu. You already tried to fight the War Dogs as a man. For all your strength, they left you for dead and put an entire town to the sword. That blood is on your hands because you refused to do all that was necessary to protect them. Don’t make that mistake again, release me.”  

“This is wrong, isn’t it? I can’t let you out. I’d never be able to come back from it.”  

“You see that? You’re weak, unsure of yourself. Let me take over, you’ll never have to worry about that again. You’ll be free. Isn’t that what you want?”  

“No! I have a responsibility, I have to save Mizu. Get out of my head!”  

“Oh please, we’re well past you pushing me back down. I’m going to take this body one way or another. Akinori won’t ever leave this cave.”  

“You’ve yet to reveal yourself shadow. If you plan to take my body, then stop talking about it and just do it.” 

“Mmmm, I thought you’d never ask.”   

There was a flash of steel and a burst of movement. I should have been afraid - but I was fighting myself. I knew myself too well.  The shadow tried to bring its steel to bear, but I refused to relent and soon my hands were around its throat.  It sputtered its curses, but still I squeezed. It scratched and clawed at my face, but still I squeezed.  I watched the life drain from its eyes, but I didn’t stop. I squeezed until I heard a wet crunch, then I stood up and beheld my work with satisfaction.  I wondered to myself if ending my life would finally bring me a modicum of peace.  I thought about how easy it would be to take my Tanto and open my throat, but then another thing entered my mind - Mizu’s disappointed and afraid eyes when I never came for her. What if I did save her? It’s not like she’s got a home to come back to. No, the only home she’d ever had was gone now because I failed.  Did I even deserve to live?  I couldn’t answer it, and if I tried, I’d only end up lying to myself.  Maybe if I kept moving, I’d find a reason why I’m still alive.  I headed to the center of the cave and found a brilliant flash of silver shown in the murky red; I had alas found the Yorukami. As I approached the sword, all I could think to myself is that this had been too easy.  I heard the rattle of chains and a feeble whisper that I had to strain to hear --  

“No!”  

I followed the voice and found a severely starved man wreathed in heavy chains.  I looked in his tortured eyes, I immediately recognized him and what’s worse I quickly began to realize that I’d fallen into a trap –  

“Morimasa? Is that you?” 

“You, you know me? Who are you? How did you find this place?” 

“Yes, I know you. I’m Akinori, I was your student.” 

“You…. were? I had a school? It’s been so long and I’m tired.” 

I left him and continued for the sword. There was only one way to help him now, but I needed the sword. He was a warrior and I would help him leave this world as one (none the wastrel he had become). I put a fingertip on the sword, and the chamber was filled with that damned light.  I turned to “Morimasa”, who looked noticeably more menacing than he did previously.  He wore a devious grin and began to cackle. It was an old sound full of centuries of malice and hate. Before my eyes, the spirit morphed and I was staring at the desire demon from earlier in the week --  

“The old fool just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. You weren’t supposed to find my plaything. I wanted to play the role of the wise old sage just a while longer, until you’d fully lowered your guard and then I tore your heart out of your chest.” 

“Far better demons than you have tried, look them up.” 

“Oh, stop it with all the bravado. You and I both know it’s a lie, we both know you’re terrified.”  

“Of a leech like you? Never. So, how much of Morimasa’s story was true and how much did you pull out of your ass?”  

“All of it is true. I’d never be able to lie about such exquisite suffering. Tsuramatsu is a monster, but he’s my monster.  The old man tried and tried to keep him on the straight and narrow, Morimasa really did see a son In Tsuramatsu. But I saw more, and I relished in dragging it out.” 

“Of course, Morimasa’s suffering was likely a buffet for you. It kept you sustained for decades.” 

“Yes, I must say it was the sweetest ecstasy. Now that you’ve found me and the sword, I can use its evil to help Tsuramatsu achieve his apotheosis. He’s been an excellent pupil all these years, but regrettably he’s still flesh and his flesh is getting old. I’ll need to make him something more or all my work will be for nothing.”  

The demon’s monologue was interrupted by the wails of the true Morimasa. It was clear that the object of his torture being in such close proximity was causing the man great distress. The demon forgot about me and began to beat him. I couldn’t help but to watch -- I had to think of a plan to get myself and Morimasa out of here.  My eyes were drawn to his chains and I had an idea.  They had to lead somewhere I suppose, so I started following them. I heard more blows landing and cruel, mocking laughter -  

“You see? Even a wretch like him won’t help you! You’ve lost Morimasa! I’m going to torture you until you’re nothing but dust on the wind, then just as you breathe your last breath, I’ll be there to take your soul to play with until the end of time. “  

I found the lock.  I could feel the magic ready to burst from it. Without a second thought, I took the Yorukamii and sliced the lock.  At first, there was nothing - then I felt it. A seal had been broken and a great power had been freed. I walked back and for the first time in a decade - I saw the real Morimasa. The demon reared back to throw another blow, but in an instant Morimasa grabbed it by the foot and slammed it hard into the cave wall. For most, the sound it made would have been unsettling. For me, it was satisfying. He picked it up by the face and he began to squeeze --  

“You took everything from me. Do you know what my greatest regret is? That I can only kill you once.” 

“Please Morimasa, you wouldn’t kill me? We can be a family again! … Isn’t that what you want?” 

I looked on as the demon began to shift into a woman. I didn’t recognize her, but it must have been his wife. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I heard the sorrow and shakiness of his voice as he continued to speak --  

“After all you’ve done, after all you’ve taken, you dare take the form of my dead wife? Even for a demon, you’re vile.”   

Before it could utter another word, Morimasa snapped its neck and then sat down on the floor of the cave. I could hear him weeping; a lifetime of loss and regret poured from him. I could offer no words, what would I say? I’d never know loss like his. Yes, my mother and sister were gone - but for all he lacked, at least I had Junichiro. For Morimasa, he had nothing. There was no salve or balm; there was only the object of his pain taunting him for decades. We just sat together silently for a while. After he gathered himself, Morimasa spoke --  

“My memories are still hazy. You there, did you say I was a teacher?” 

“You were.” 

“Was I any good? Did I at least get that part right?” 

“You were one of the best I’ve had.”  

“If that’s the case, I want you to do something for me.” 

“Name it.” 

“You’ve already got my sword, so I want you to kill me. Then, I want you to kill Tsuramatsu, then I want you to burn that school to the ground. There’s nothing but pain left there now.”  

“I’ll do it, but I must ask … what do you plan on doing once you’re dead?” 

“Hm, I’ll look for my wife I suppose. I’ll have eternity ahead of me so I’ll beg for her forgiveness.” 

“Fair enough. Are you ready?” 

“I am.”  

With those words, Morimasa silently knelt before me. In one swift motion, I beheaded him. I silently put my sword away and prepared a makeshift funeral pyre. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to make sure nothing would attempt to inhabit Morimasa’s body.  As the flames consumed his flesh, the cave walls began to buckle. Without Morimasa, it had no further purpose.  Wasting no time, I found a new path that I hadn’t seen earlier and I came out of the pit inside of Yoni’s garden.  The place felt wrong, as it held none of her warmth. Though if what I’d learned today was true, I’d never really known Yoni. I had no time to think about it. As a crimson lightning storm tore across the sky, I headed towards the grand hall with Tsuramatsu on my mind. It was time to finish this once and for all. As Morimasa’s mission rang through my eardrums, I knew I had to make this right. My beloved school had to go, as the suffering had no place anywhere anymore.